The idea of instant marriage is exciting, but the commercial itself is pretty juvenile and badly made—in fact, it’s quite boring

Wisdom suggests that you really, really must know a person before you pop the big question. On issues of compatibility, values, attitudes, ideologies, etc, etc. However, Bharat Matrimony has turned that concept on its head. They have converted the process of marriage into an easy a chore as whipping up Maggie noodles.
 
Here’s their promise: akin to ‘Privilege Banking’ and ‘Privilege Flying’, they have come up with the offer of ‘Privilege Matrimony’. What this means is that these chaps will get you married on a priority basis, maybe even inside a given working day! Wow! The strategic intent is this: Because you don’t have the time to search for, and then suss out a suitable partner, Privilege Matrimony’s ‘relationship managers’ will take that load off your back, and find you a partner who they think is perfect for you! But sorry, there’s a caveat: this service comes with no guarantees. So if the ‘product’ turns out to be faulty, you are on your own, mate.
 
The commercial begins with a shot of two executives inside an office elevator. One looks like a winner, and the other a loser. Through the door, a hand slips in and delivers an envelope to the winner suit, and it turns out to be a pretty woman’s picture. This stupefies the loser exec a great deal, and since he has no work to do at office, the fellow decides to unravel the mystery of the said picture. He keeps a watchful eye on the proceedings, as the girl’s kundali arrives in the middle of a meeting. A coffee date gets arranged over the facsimile machine. And then the winner exec’s dinner meet with the full family gets finalised to formalise the rishta! All in a day’s work, how cool is that.
 
The commercial itself is pretty juvenile and badly made—in fact, it’s quite boring, so let’s forget about that. It’s the idea of instant marriage that excites. I don’t know if the conservative Indian families will bite, but perhaps the twitterati may get sucked in.

Which is what Bharat Matrimony must hope for. Just two quick points: One, if on office time such activities are allowed to go on, the execs should be summarily sacked. Two, if this is the way people get married these days, the ‘Privilege Matrimony’ package must also include a ‘Privilege Divorce’ scheme, to cut headaches and queues at the family courts.
 
Meanwhile, you go get married. I need to prepare some noodles. — Anil Thakraney